Just another manic Monday…

So it’s been a bit since I returned from Aruba and remained wine free. But the last week I blew it! So I realize stress, social events, fires in the fireplace, tasks like house cleaning and everything else are triggers for my wine intake. So basically my equation for drinking is daily life=daily drinking. Seriously, I need to get a grip. This is just stupid, senseless and soul sucking! Not to mention belly bloating and health hacking! The do overs need to be done (I’ve said that before🤬) So, I have decided to start SMART recovery and thrilled to see there are a few local meetings. Wish me luck (and I know luck has NOTHING to do with getting sober). All the best!

Stress relief

So back from my Aruba 4 day vacay (since Sunday) and it is harder now for me then when I was away. I see now that I really am a stress drinker and I prefer to drink in the solitude of my home. Wow! There’s a revelation. And shit isn’t it easier for me to stay away from tropical vacations than home…dah! Now what the hell am I going to do. These last few days have been very tough to hang on to not picking up a “relaxing” glass of vino. I live in a world of stress, to do’s and often chaos 24/7. I know I am not alone here. Oh yeah then there is work haha🤪 Now that is a whole other world of stress and disappointments as of late…..I’m kinda screaming now. Please, folks that are making it happily and successfully, how do you do it, what is working or worked especially in the early day. I’ve been on this roller coaster for so long. I definitely do have restraint and I am not a low bottom drunk. But this is no way to live. HELP!

Thank you in advance you Awesome human beings❤️

—and not to mention I am dealing with middle age hair loss and texture change WTF! Gonna need a wig soon…can’t deal😢😢

I’m good

So here in Aruba…company paid trip and have not missed the wine at all. I could have had an unlimited supply of whatever alcoholic drink of my choice. But I chose club soda and lime. No regrets! love waking up fully present and hangover free! So much more fun and enjoyable. Not only for me but for my hubby too. We both talked out the consequences if I chose to drink. God, it sounds so terrible (well, because it is) We went for a 4 hour, early morning fishing trip today and if I had drank the night before it would have been a miserable experience. Instead it was an enjoyable and unforgettable adventure on the Caribbean Sea. So much more to say but I need to go and have more sober experiences, even if it’s a nap😊

Love and joy to you all❌⭕️

Ready, set….I don’t want to go

Well, I leave for my Tropical Island mini vacation in about 5 hours. I really would rather stay home. Of course, I decided to give up drinking again 4 days prior to the trip. Of course being overweight and having nothing to wear helped that decision. Am I setting myself up for another failure in my search for sobriety? Well I figure if I can enjoy this vacation without the booze then I am well on my way to success. It has been done (not drinking on vacay) by many…my husband is one of them….a non-drinker by choice😳.

I am going prepared and built up thanks to blogs, podcast, books, prayers etc. I will not have another redo…I just won’t damn it!

Back at it

So it’s been almost 2 years since I have been on my “sober” blog. And why’s that? Well of course it’s because I was drinking. Why else would I not be on it. But that’s not to say I have not tried over the past almost 2 years to kick the wine habit. I listen to the Bubble hour, I was on Sober Grid, I went to AA, I watch shows and movies on alcohol. You name it I did it. But to no avail! Ugh! The one thing I do know is that isolation is the death to my recovery. I will try again to stay connected. I have to believe that at some point I am going to get this🤨….

Day 58..Sober but not Sexy

Now that I am not glugging wine multiple days out of the week I thought I would have dropped some weight.  NOT.  I really am a creature of habit.  I drank too much..habit and now I eat too much, specifically sweets and carbs…habit.  

I use to be fit and fabulous.  Now I’m fat and frumpy. This needs to change. I know it is going to take effort and constant vigilance. The same thing it takes to be sober.  Either way both bad habits involve indulging. Self control and discipline is what it will take.  I know I have it in me.  I have proven that the last 58 days.  So since counting/numbers seems to be a theme I’m going to try the 21 day fix. Wish me luck!!😜

Day 50..woo hoo!!

I honestly did not think I would make it to day 50. But I did and I am so proud of myself..(patting myself on the back).  The things that have helped me get to this milestone are,

-the wonderful support of my husband,

-my training wheels anatabuse,

-this blog that I re-read regularly to remind myself why I decided to take this journey,

-the stories and  support of the other bloggers

-my new love for pastries (hehe),

-and of course my Lord and Savior, Jesus  Christ

No wine tonight

So I have have been in a blah mood, craving the dreaded wine.  But instead I opted for these😜. I may have a sugar hangover tomorrow but at least is not a boozing one, btw I’m gross!!!😂😂

Day 43; The sun needs to @#%&*!! come out!!!

I think my wanting to cave in on this no-wine thing  and obsess about wanting to drink is because of the gloomy grey days that have been settling here day after day.  It’s cold, damp and blah.  And that is sooooooooo not good for me.  I am definitely one of those people affected by the weather.  Days like this zap the energy, enthusiasm and motivation right out of me.  Boredom sets in.  I can’t get my butt to the gym.  Sleep is my activity of choice.  And that is bad.  The combo of no wine and gloomy days…yeah 😖. So, I’m thinking energy drinks may need to be consumed. I was at a customers office yesterday and someone told me about these “fizz” drinks that provide a boost of energy.  They are actually called Zipfizz.  I have never been an energy drink “drinker”. But maybe it’s time.  Well at least for a time!   Never had Red Bull or Monster.  I would love to hear from y’all about your energy drink experience….the good, the bad, the ugly and of course your brand choice👍. Thanks!

Day 41 😳

I don’t feel it’s getting any easier. As a matter of fact,  I am thinking more about wine now. I miss it.  I’m planning a party and a cruise and I am having a hard time thinking I will not be able to have wine.  Ugh. Stressing out. Not good. Nothing helping. #craving #caving😩